AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

*UPDATE: The Miley Cyrus campaign has been removed from the One Million Moms website. Thankfully, the Interweb is a magical place and someone was wise enough to take a screen capture. If you’d like to see the campaign that inspired this post and made me want to hulksmash things, please click here.

Confession: I am not a mom. But for the record, I have a mom, am friends with moms, and intend to one day be a mom. Please keep this in mind, because I’m about to snark a lot of moms. One million, actually...

Some quick background on me, for context: Growing up, I was lucky enough to be raised by people who actually practiced the old “love your neighbour” line. Ultra-liberal, incredibly supportive, march-to-the-beat-of-your-own-drum kind of people. Which was wonderful, but also made going into the Big Bad World a bit of a shock. It took me a long time to wrap my head around the fact that people could actually hate each other over something like sexual orientation. I mean, seriously? You’re going to hate someone for being attracted to another person because they happen to be the same sex? You’re going to hate two people for being in love? For wanting to commit to each other? For wanting to start a family? But… why?

I don’t get homonegativity, I’ve never understood it, and to be honest, it just makes me angry and disappointed in humanity (which is no small feat for a hopeless optimist).

So when it comes to my attention that a Christian group in the US is targeting Miley Cyrus (who identifies as a Christian, fyi) for making pro-gay statements on Twitter like “I am a Christian and I love you—gay or not—because you are no different than anyone else! We are all God’s children,” I get a little riled up. Okay, a lot riled up. I get ranty. Especially because the group is made up of moms.

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Fact #9482156 about me: I am a huge John Mayer fan.

Now, I mean “fan” in the sense that I really enjoy his music and own every CD he’s released to date. I’m not lurking in the bushes outside his house, or hoping that he’ll let me have his baby. That falls under the category of “stalker of biblical proportions.” Plus, it’s just plain creepy. So take note, the Mayer Love is rooted firmly in music. The fact that I find him to be an attractive man is really just a bonus…

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So, I’m flicking through TV channels today, taking one of my (somewhat infamous) procrastination breaks, when I’m confronted with an image of bumper cars riding around in an Always Dri Weave.

Seriously. Bumper cars. Dri Weave. I couldn’t make this up even if I tried…

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