AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

*UPDATE: The Miley Cyrus campaign has been removed from the One Million Moms website. Thankfully, the Interweb is a magical place and someone was wise enough to take a screen capture. If you’d like to see the campaign that inspired this post and made me want to hulksmash things, please click here.

Confession: I am not a mom. But for the record, I have a mom, am friends with moms, and intend to one day be a mom. Please keep this in mind, because I’m about to snark a lot of moms. One million, actually...

Some quick background on me, for context: Growing up, I was lucky enough to be raised by people who actually practiced the old “love your neighbour” line. Ultra-liberal, incredibly supportive, march-to-the-beat-of-your-own-drum kind of people. Which was wonderful, but also made going into the Big Bad World a bit of a shock. It took me a long time to wrap my head around the fact that people could actually hate each other over something like sexual orientation. I mean, seriously? You’re going to hate someone for being attracted to another person because they happen to be the same sex? You’re going to hate two people for being in love? For wanting to commit to each other? For wanting to start a family? But… why?

I don’t get homonegativity, I’ve never understood it, and to be honest, it just makes me angry and disappointed in humanity (which is no small feat for a hopeless optimist).

So when it comes to my attention that a Christian group in the US is targeting Miley Cyrus (who identifies as a Christian, fyi) for making pro-gay statements on Twitter like “I am a Christian and I love you—gay or not—because you are no different than anyone else! We are all God’s children,” I get a little riled up. Okay, a lot riled up. I get ranty. Especially because the group is made up of moms.

Yes, One Million Moms—a “special project” of the American Family Association—apparently hates Miley Cyrus and her evil messages of love and acceptance so much, that they’ve started a letter writing campaign. Now you, too, can let this poor, misguided teen icon know that the positive comments she directed at fellow human beings on the Interweb are “shocking and heartbreaking,” not to mention “not Biblically correct,” and that she needs to STFU before her soul burns in hell and crazy people picket her funeral. (Okay, I’m paraphrasing that last bit, but trust me, the letter is just plain ridiculous.)

It’s not just Miley, though. One Million Moms (and Dads!) is also “taking action” against companies like Quiznos and Campbell’s Soup. That’s right. Soup. I kid you not. Here’s why:

For example, Campbell Soup Company bought two, two-page advertisements in three of the past four issues of the nation’s largest homosexual magazine, The Advocate. In one of the ads, Campbell Soup Company featured two lesbians and their son. According to the company’s website, the lesbians are married. Not only did such ads cost Campbell’s a lot of money, they also sent a message that homosexual parents constitute a family.

I’m sorry, let’s rewind the tape for a minute…homosexual parents with children don’t constitute a family? And you’re serious? I think I may have just had a small stroke. (And as a side note, can someone PLEASE make me a “Soup is Gay” t-shirt to wear to Pride? Thanks.)

As someone who will one day be a mother and be responsible for shaping a little growing mind, I understand wanting to protect your kids from harmful images and advertising, I do. But to boycott entertainers and companies because they support same-sex couples? It’s way off base. Rally against drugs and violence and sexualized advertising (Axe, I’m looking at you), absolutely. But don’t teach your kids to be ignorant and fearful. Because if this kind of intolerant thinking keeps being passed from generation to generation, how will we ever live in a peaceful world?

Parents, non-parents, cat-parents, let’s hear it… What do you think of One Million Moms?